Thursday, 4 July 2013

Making Cents of it All

En Gard! The spirit of surging ahead , whether it be like Frank Ney or as a freelancer. This picture
 was taken on our recent cruise.

Today in the mail I got my first payment for my writing. I broke the seal of the envelope with a little trepidation while silly thoughts swam about my head such as, instead of a cheque there would be a rejection slip telling me that my articles were not up to par, or no cheque at all, maybe just a scribbled face laughing manically.
But no!
First off, I told myself, catching those flyaway thoughts and firmly pinching them under my mental thumb, the paper has been printed, and my articles were in there. I saw them with my own eyes. And that was ink they were printed in, thank you very much. Also, the editors of the magazine would not send out that sort of thing. They have been much too encouraging to pull the rug from out under my feet.
Still these little insecurities wriggle in there, like unwelcomed worms in a perfectly good apple. Even though my worries are on the grandiose end of the spectrum they source from my own self-doubt. I worry that my writing has a very 'young' tone, that my vocabulary is too 'very' and 'high school English class' and that I am not quite grasping all the technicalities and functionalities of assembling a succinct, thorough piece.
The above might very well be true, for sure being a young writer is because I am, and I have only been actively freelancing for four months. I cannot expect to have it all nailed down at once. Truthfully, my writing should not be polished and pristine like a coddled antique car because, if it was, where do I go from there? How would I become better? How would I make mistakes and learn from them?
When I read  what I feel are exceptional articles (or even blogs) by other people I start pinning to write just as well, and may feel a little discouraged because my writing is not at that level. Yet. But I am going to keep going, keep writing and try my absolute best to keep getting better because I love doing this and hope to do it for a long time.
And if worse comes to worse I'll fall back on that cheque I got in the mail today. Because it was a cheque, made out to me, for my first three pieces I had published.

It was not for a crazy, six-figure sum (because I did not write a six-figure worth of words) but the editors and owners of the magazine felt it was good enough to publish and I thought my articles were worth writing about.

That is knowledge I can take to the bank.